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Others may find that BDSM and kink activity come with shame that’s difficult to unpack, in which case, aftercare can be a helpful transitioning tool it’s like a bridge to a less intense mind space. And because aftercare functions as an intentional check-in, it can aid in the steps toward healing from sexual trauma-in fact, many folks use BDSM as a supplement to healing. (BTW, it’s also essential to consider what headspace you’re in before you approach a scene sometimes a negative headspace translates during and after sex, which may not serve you in the ways you’d like.)Īs you’re navigating the dynamics of your partnership, it’s important to note that aftercare is essential for both dominant and submissive partners. Often this reaction is linked to other stressors in the outside world, such as a history of trauma or existing psychological distress. If you’re practicing BDSM, aftercare is especially vital to avoid Dom/sub drop: the uncomfortable physical, mental, and emotional sensations that sometimes come up in the hours and days after an intense scene.ĭom/sub drop may be linked to postcoital dysphoria, which is when someone feels sadness or anxiety after otherwise wonderful and consensual sex. It’s imperative that partners feel cared for since feelings of safety and intimacy go hand-in-hand. The main purpose of aftercare is to ensure our partners can happily transition back into the real world from the blissful headspace of sexual pleasure and/or BDSM play. The goal is to take care of each other so you both come down from the experience happy, connected, and safe.įrom the reasons to incorporate aftercare into your repertoire to our best aftercare ideas, here’s everything you need to know. What’s key here is establishing an aftercare routine that addresses the physical and mental well-being of your partner. Everyone can benefit from the ritual since aftercare can make the bond with your partner(s) stronger and up the overall intimacy of your sexual experience. It can be incredibly immersive, so aftercare is used to bring partners back into the headspace of reality.īut aftercare isn’t just important for people who prefer chains and whips. Sometimes folks are consensually tied up, spanked, hit, humiliated, or otherwise physically and psychologically controlled. This is because sex involving BDSM dynamics can get pretty intense.
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If you've heard the term before, it might because aftercare has historically been associated with BDSM-an umbrella acronym that encompasses bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism. “Aftercare is basically the care-taking that is done by all parties involved after a sexual experience to check in emotionally and physically," explains certified sex educator Irma Garcia. Think of it as a post-sex wind-down ritual-something you do to ground yourself and support your partner(s) after getting it on. WHETHER IT'S A QUICK cuddle or some long, relaxing pillow talk, aftercare is a common practice when it comes to hooking up.